Attack of the Valley Girls Page 4
If it’s really upsetting that you don’t know whether they are heading for Earth or not, please log on to narrator-complaints@peevedreader.wah.
* * *
But back to our story. Melvin, Candace, and Hugo now had a description of the dognappers and their vehicle. It would not be long before they tracked them down and captured them, after saying such things as “Not so fast!”
“What if we get there too late?” Candace asked.
“We still have a few hours,” Melvin told her. “These two are pros. They won’t do anything to Schnitzel until the time is up.”
This was what Melvin hoped anyway. You never knew when you were dealing with bad guys … uh … bad girls. A few hours wasn’t long, especially when you were dealing with bad girls.
“What do you know? It’s finally happened,” Candace said.
“What has?” Melvin asked.
“Now the narrator is repeating him-self!”
“It’s late in the story. It happens.”
The two superheroes flew over the city, Hugo still perched on Candace’s shoulder. The narrator didn’t even have to say tick tick tick. They felt it. Time was running out.
It was not only late in the story—it was just plain late. Melvin was usually sound asleep at this hour (unless Hugo was snoring). So was Candace.
They searched and searched, growing more tired by the minute. They could hardly keep their eyes open. Finally, they decided to land and search on foot. Flying when you were sleepy was an accident waiting to happen. Better to be on solid ground.
“What did the hawk say the car looked like again?” Melvin was trying to stay awake, and talking seemed to be the best way.
“Powder-blue convertible,” Candace said with a yawn.
They were on the outskirts of Los Angeles now, having already searched downtown. There were cranes and bulldozers and dump trucks, stacks of lumber, and half-built houses.
“Holy construction site!” Melvin said. “This would be a great place for a bad-guy lair.”
Holy construction site, indeed! It would be. The only thing better, of course, would be an abandoned warehouse. But these are Valley girls we’re talking about. They live to shop. They might ruin their new jeans in a construction site lair.
Melvin, Candace, and Hugo moved cautiously. Dark shadows loomed all around. It would be a great place for sinister and devious people to hide out. But the shadows were empty, unbeknownst to Melvin and team.
The real danger was in the car behind them, the one driven by a teenage girl, the one silently racing toward them at Gamma Speed.
16
AHHHH-HEE-AHHHH!
“Step on it, Brittany!” Chantelle stared out the window. She was so nervous that she’d been eating the bologna sandwiches without thinking. Now they were gone. At least they had the car. It zoomed silently forward. Maybe it wasn’t quite as fast as a speeding bullet, but it was pretty darn fast.
“I have, like, the pedal to the metal already.” Brittany pointed to the Gamma dial, where the needle was on red. She didn’t bother flicking her hair. The wind did it for her.
Up ahead, two superheroes and a rat turned. There was no time to move, no time react at all. And that’s when they heard it—
A cry ripped through the night. “Ahhhh-hee-ahhhh!”
Was it Tarzan? Was it the Lone Ranger with his faithful companion Tonto? Was it some guy who just felt like yelling?
It was none of those.
The Gamma Drive–enhanced convertible driven by the evil-potion-enhanced girl was a few feet away—maybe inches—when a streak of purple flashed in front of her! Swinging on a cable suspended from a crane, Mike, aspiring sidekick, snatched Melvin, Candace, and Hugo out from in front of the speeding car.
Just in time. Just in the nick of time, to be exact!
But the bad girls were not giving up.
“Turn this thing around and try again,” Chantelle yelled.
“I’m on it,” Brittany yelled back. She slammed on the brakes and whipped the steering wheel to one side. The car spun, and she hit the gas, once more speeding toward not two superheroes, but … three?
This time they were ready for her. Or were they? A car with Gamma Drive was as powerful as a speeding locomotive, and stopping trains wasn’t Melvin’s best skill.
The car raced toward them.
“Better leave this one to us,” Melvin told the guy in the purple cape. He had not yet recognized the mad scientist’s son with whom he’d had tea. He was just some guy in a cape who might or might not be a real superhero.
“I’m here to help,” Mike said.
At the last minute Melvin pushed him out of the way. Then he and Candace grabbed the front of the car as it struck. They dug their feet into the ground. But the car did not slow. Melvin and Candace put everything they had into it. Meanwhile, Hugo jumped onto Mike’s shoulder to watch.
Two crazed teenagers in the car. Two superheroes digging in as the car raced. It pushed them the entire length of the construction site, crashed into a bulldozer—and the engine died.
“We did it!” Brittany said.
“The city is, like, ours!”
Mike and Hugo stared in disbelief. Melvin and Candace were gone. They’d defeated the McNastys, they’d bested Joe the Bad Guy, not to mention the Spaz Brothers, and here they were, done in by a couple of girls from the Valley.
“Squeak?” said Hugo. This may have meant “Say it isn’t so.” Or it might have been “I miss Melvin Beederman.”
Candace would know what he was saying. Only she was no longer around to interpret.
All was silent in the construction site as the dust settled. Even the evil Valley girls were quiet.
And then …
There was a tremendous sound of steel bending. The car, still occupied by the crazed teenagers, lifted off the ground, and there stood Melvin and Candace beneath it, holding it up. They turned the car over and dumped Brittany and Chantelle onto the ground.
“Curses!” Chantelle said.
“Yeah, curses!” Brittany repeated. This was what villains said when someone foiled their evil plans.
Brittany and Chantelle got to their feet and ran. But Mike and Hugo were there to stop them. Actually, it was Mike. Hugo stood off to one side and said, “Squeak.” This meant that he wasn’t in the mood to be stepped on.
17
A STRANGE TURN OF EVENTS
Schnitzel was returned to the mayor/mad scientist, who, in a strange turn of events, didn’t press charges against Brittany and Chantelle. Instead, he adopted them. He was impressed with their Gamma Drive invention, but mostly with their overall evilness. Unlike his purple-cape-wearing son, these two girls had real potential as future mad scientists.
The mayor decided to quit his job with the city of Los Angeles and devote himself full time to mad scientist work. With his new evil daughters and a certain amount of luck, he’d be taking over the world in no time.
Schnitzel, of course, could not believe his little dog ears. And ears never lie! How could he live with the very people who had kidnapped and gagged him? When Chantelle and Brittany moved in, Schnitzel moved out. He would go someplace where they really needed him—the local Alley Rat community. He would lead them in their revolt against the Alley Cats.
And so he set off, keeping an eye out for birds of prey and singing, “I’m a wiener dog, not a rat.” Maybe he wasn’t a rat now. But he soon would be.
The mad scientist’s son, Mike, also decided not to stick around. He had proven himself as a sidekick by saving Melvin and Candace, and he knew that somewhere there was a superhero who needed help saving the world.
He met up with Melvin and Candace at the local pretzel and root beer parlor, which was right next to Bert’s Bar and Grill.
“Thanks for coming to our rescue,” Melvin said to Mike. “We didn’t hear that car coming.”
“That’s Gamma Drive for you,” Candace added.
“You’re welcome,” Mike said with a smile.
It was nice to hang out with a pair of real superheroes. He knew he was one step away from landing a sidekick job. And with Melvin’s and Candace’s help, he was sure he would.
“We could write you a letter of recommendation,” Melvin suggested.
“That would be great,” Mike said.
After a few snacks and three large root beer floats, the three of them left the parlor and walked slowly down the street. They were tired from their adventures, but happy. Once again, they’d foiled an evil plot. Even though the Valley girls weren’t in jail, the superheroes had stopped them from their devious and sinister deeds, and that was all that mattered.
The street was deserted, but they were not alone. High above them a seagull named Jethro circled. He knew a target when he saw one. Suddenly he dove at the three people in capes below him, letting out a triumphant “Caw.”
Something went SPLAT.
And for the first time in a long while, it wasn’t Melvin Beederman.
WHO IS THE NARRATOR?
The narrator came from a long line of narrators. His dad was a narrator. His mom was a narrator. Even his goldfish was a narrator—you may have read the literary classic Goldifish and the Three Bears. But the narrator didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of his parents, not to mention his fish. He decided he’d rather see the world. And see the world he did. When he wasn’t climbing mountains in Nepal or running with the bulls in Spain, he could be found wrestling polar bears in the Arctic, swimming with sharks off the coast of California, or dancing the night away at Fast Eddy’s Amazing Disco and All-Night Car Wash.
For a future narrator he sure could cut a rug.
But something happened one night that would change his life forever. He was confronted in a dark alley by three thugs and a bad guy named Fred. Did the narrator use his famous polar bear wrestling skills? Did he run like a Spanish bull? Did he cut a rug right there on the street?
Nope. He simply talked his way out of it. After all, the gift of gab ran in his family. Those thugs’ ears were dazzled!
The narrator has been telling stories ever since, especially about an adventuring superhero named Melvin Beederman, his sidekick Candace Brinkwater … and a few guys named Fred.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
GREG TRINE is a superhero who lives in his hideout (not lair—hideout) in California with his family. He spends his days saving the world, eating pretzels, and watching cartoons. His weakness: Rocky Road ice cream.
www.melvinbeederman.com. Or sign up for email updates here.
RHODE MONTIJO is Superhero Greg’s sidekick. He enjoys creating art from his top-secret headquarters in California. He believes that making children’s books is super! His weakness: red licorice.
www.rhodemontijo.com. Or sign up for email updates here.
MELVIN BEEDERMAN SUPERHERO
BOOK 1: THE CURSE OF THE BOLOGNA SANDWICH
BOOK 2: THE REVENGE OF THE MCNASTY BROTHERS
BOOK 3: THE GRATEFUL FRED
BOOK 4: TERROR IN TIGHTS
BOOK 5: THE FAKE CAPE CAPER
BOOK 6: ATTACK OF THE VALLEY GIRLS
BOOK 7: THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING UNDERPANTS
BOOK 8: INVASION FROM PLANET DORK
www.melvinbeederman.com
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
1. First Lair on the Left
2. The Mad Scientist’s Son
3. The Mad Scientist’s Evil Potion
4. Sinister Sisters
5. Meanwhile …
6. Bad-Guy–Catching Blues
7. The Valley Girls’ Sinister Plan
8. Trouble at Bert’s
9. A Good Night for a Dognapping
10. One Day … or Else!
11. Doctor Doolittle, I Presume?
12. The Birth of a Sidekick
13. Jethro Gull
14. Valley Girls
15. Speaking of Aliens …
16. Ahhhh-hee-ahhhh!
17. A Strange Turn of Events
Who is the Narrator?
About the Authors
Melvin Beederman Superhero
Copyright
An Imprint of Macmillan
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ATTACK OF THE VALLEY GIRLS. Text copyright © 2008 by Greg Trine.
Illustrations copyright © 2008 by Rhode Montijo.
All rights reserved.
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Originally published in the United States by Henry Holt and Company
First Square Fish Edition: 2013
Hand-lettering by David Gatti
Square Fish logo designed by Filomena Tuosto
eISBN 9781250104779
First eBook edition: November 2015