The Brotherhood of the Traveling Underpants Read online

  Suddenly she felt weak. She fell to her knees gasping, “Can’t … move … get … me … out … of … here.” Her cape was different from the one worn by Melvin and Candace, so bologna wasn’t her weakness. But guys named Wayne were.

  Goofball didn’t know any of this. He just saw another superhero who was obviously, and thankfully, powerless. The bad guy business was getting better and better. “Tie her up, too.”

  17

  MELVIN HAS TWO SIDEKICKS

  While the arrival of Margaret distracted the bad guys, Candace was busy slipping her nail file to the younger, uncaped Melvin Beederman. She had just enough strength left to do this. And the younger Melvin was not affected by the bologna.

  “Use it to cut us loose,” Candace whispered.

  The two Melvins, Candace, James, and Margaret, along with sacks of bologna, were now strapped to an enormous barbell. Max, the muscle, dropped it all through the hole in the floor and down they went—Splash!—into the water.

  Goofball, Max, and Calamity stood at the edge of the hole, watching. “If I was not in such a hurry to get back home, I would stand here and have a nice long evil laugh session,” Goofball said. He paused. “Oh, what the heck. Mwaah haa haa haa!”

  See? You can tell why the guy is an award winner.

  “That felt good. Let’s find that plane and get out of here.”

  “Make like a crop duster and leave them in our dust?” Max said. He was running out of things to “make like,” and it was getting on everyone’s nerves. Including the narrator’s!

  “Whatever.”

  * * *

  The barbell came to rest at the bottom of Boston Harbor, and the younger Melvin got to work cutting himself loose. He worked quickly—before he ran out of air. He cut himself free, then did the same for James. At the same time, Margaret, who was no longer in the presence of Calamity Wayne, felt her strength return. She busted the shoelaces tying her to the barbell, then grabbed the caped Melvin and Candace.

  The five of them broke the surface together, gasping for breath.

  “Holy suffocation!” Melvin said. “That was a close one.”

  Holy suffocation, indeed! It sure was. They climbed back into the abandoned building.

  The young Melvin looked at the slightly older, caped version of himself. “That’s a great head of hair you’ve got. Are we related?”

  “Uh … I’m your uncle Fred,” said the older Melvin. He didn’t know how to tell him the truth. And besides, he had bad guys to catch.

  “Uncle Fred? How come I’ve never heard of you?”

  “No time to explain.” The caped Melvin then turned to Candace and Margaret. “Three bad guys and three superheroes. Perfect. I can go after Goofball. Candace, you can get Max. Margaret, you’ve got Calamity.”

  They ran outside and launched themselves. “Up, up, and away!” Candace and Margaret were up and flying on the first try. Melvin did things his way—Crash! Splat! Thud! Kabonk! It wasn’t pretty, but then again, it never was.

  * * *

  “What’s the plan, boss?” Calamity asked. He knew they had to make like a something and do something, but he wasn’t sure what either something was.

  “We split up, just in case,” Goofball replied.

  “Just in case what?”

  “Just in case something happens. You know, Melvin and his noggin power, or maybe the narrator will pull a fast one. You never know.”

  Yes, you sure don’t.

  And so Goofball headed north, Max south, and Calamity west.

  * * *

  “Not so fast!” Melvin said, dropping out of the sky and landing right in front of Goofball.

  “Curses!” Goofball muttered, which is a very common bad guy expression, especially at the end of a book.

  Goofball did not even try to get away. Melvin had him, and both of them knew it.

  “Stop trying to get away from me!” Candace said as she plopped herself down in front of Max on the other side of town.

  “Don’t you mean ‘not so fast’?” Max asked. It was, after all, part of the Superhero’s Code to say that. But Candace hadn’t graduated from the academy and didn’t know the correct lingo.

  But no matter, Max was caught, just like Goofball. The problem was, where was Margaret?

  At that moment she was dropping out of the sky and planting herself on the sidewalk in front of Calamity Wayne. “Not so fast!” she said. She was a student at the academy; she knew the code.

  Suddenly she felt weak. She fell to her knees, gasping, “Can’t … move … get … me … out … of … here.”

  “See ya,” Wayne said. He didn’t bother to stick around to see what was wrong. He ran. A short time later he saw a policeman sitting on a horse. He knocked him off, stole the horse, and rode west, just as Goofball had told him.

  After he was gone, Margaret’s strength returned. She got to her feet and headed back toward the academy. On the way she met up with Melvin and Candace, who were dragging Goofball and Max.

  “Where’s Calamity?” Melvin asked.

  “He got away,” Margaret said. “I couldn’t get close to him. It made me weak.”

  “Weak in the knees?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hmm.” Melvin stroked his chin. “Sounds like a crush. Sounds like you have the hots for Calamity Wayne.”

  “Sounds like it’s the cape,” Candace said. She turned to Melvin. “Should we go after him?”

  Melvin shook his head. “We’ve got the brains of the operation and we’ve also got the muscle. Who cares about the getaway guy?”

  And so Melvin and Candace flew back to Los Angeles along with Goofball and Max. Then they used the time machine to return to the proper time. Clankity–Whump–Pow–Thunk! It was the worst re-entry yet. But it didn’t bother Melvin or Candace one bit. They were just glad to be home, glad to have solved another case, and very glad to be superheroes in charge of such a great town.

  They dropped Goofball and Max off at the police station and headed for home.

  “Save the world again tomorrow?” Melvin asked.

  “Of course,” said his partner in uncrime. “I can’t think of a better way to spend the day.”

  And so they did, because it was what superheroes do, and it was what they loved to do … just as soon as Candace finished her math.

  And now, a superheroic excerpt from

  INVASION FROM PLANET DORK

  “Holy this-is-an-emergency!”

  Superhero Melvin Beederman had been enjoying a long shower while singing one of his favorite Grateful Fred songs—“Love Is a Nose but You Better Not Pick It.” All was well in his world. He toweled off, rubbed some Melvin Mousse into his hair, forming a perfect M, flexed in front of the mirror, and went to see about breakfast. Was there a pretzel in the house? There was not. That’s what you call an emergency.

  Holy this-is-an-emergency, indeed! It sure was. Even Melvin’s pet rat Hugo had something to say on the subject.

  “Squeak,” he said with a twitch of his whiskers. This either meant “Get me some pretzels, and make it snappy,” or “You were a little flat on ‘Love Is a Nose but You Better Not Pick It.’” Melvin was never exactly sure what Hugo was saying. He just knew he wanted pretzels as much as his rat did. Maybe more.

  Melvin and Hugo lived together in a tree house overlooking the city of Los Angeles, where Melvin saved the world on a daily basis, with the help of his partner in crime, Candace Brinkwater. But this morning, work would have to wait. He needed to stock up on snacks so that he and his pet could start the day off properly, by eating pretzels, drinking root beer, and watching their favorite TV show—The Adventures of Thunderman.

  “I’ll be back in a flash,” Melvin said to Hugo, as he launched himself out the window. “Up, up, and away!”

  Crash!

  He hit the ground hard. He got to his feet and tried again.

  “Up, up, and away!”

  Splat!

  He hit the ground even harder.

 
; Once more.

  “Up, up, and away!”

  Thud!

  And again.

  “Up, up, and away!”

  Kabonk!

  On the fifth try he was up and flying. This was how it went with Melvin Beederman. It always took him at least five tries to get up and flying. But no matter. He was up in the air now and on a mission, which is the same thing as being on a pretzel run, but mission sounds better, so we’ll go with that. As he streaked across the sky, Melvin looked down, and what did he see? Underwear—and lots of it. He couldn’t turn off his x-ray vision, so he saw everyone’s underwear whether he wanted to or not.

  But underwear was the least of his problems. Something didn’t feel right. Melvin could sense when trouble was brewing, and right now it was—or at least it was about to be. He didn’t care if trouble was brewing or if it was just thinking about brewing. Trouble was trouble, and it was his job to do something about it.

  About the Authors

  Greg Trine is the author of the Melvin Beederman, Superhero books, which he creates with his illustrator sidekick, Rhode Montijo. He is also the author of the young adult book, The Second Base Club. He lives with his family in his Southern California hideout. You can sign up for email updates here.

  Rhode Montijo is the illustrator of the Melvin Beederman Superhero series. He lives in Oakland, California. He believes that creating children’s books is super! His weakness: red licorice. You can sign up for email updates here.

  MELVIN BEEDERMAN SUPERHERO

  BOOK 1: THE CURSE OF THE BOLOGNA SANDWICH

  BOOK 2: THE REVENGE OF THE MCNASTY BROTHERS

  BOOK 3: THE GRATEFUL FRED

  BOOK 4: TERROR IN TIGHTS

  BOOK 5: THE FAKE CAPE CAPER

  BOOK 6: ATTACK OF THE VALLEY GIRLS

  BOOK 7: THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING UNDERPANTS

  BOOK 8: INVASION FROM PLANET DORK

  www.melvinbeederman.com

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  For email updates on Greg Trine, click here.

  For email updates on Rhode Montijo, click here.

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  1. The Bad Guy Brotherhood

  2. Breakfast of Champions

  3. Trouble on Lair Hill

  4. The Not-So-Great Escape

  5. Meanwhile …

  6. Holy What-the-Heck-Was-That?

  7. Superhero Pirates

  8. Clankity–Whump–Pow–Thunk!

  9. Aaaaaaahhhhhh!

  10. Trouble at Nacho’s

  11. Calamity Has Noggin Power … Almost

  12. Melvin’s Uncle Who?

  13. Melvin Has Left the Building

  14. Margaret Takes the Cape

  15. The Hole-in-the-Wall Gang

  16. The Hole-in-the-Floor Gang?

  17. Melvin Has Two Sidekicks

  Invasion from Planet Dork

  About the Authors

  Melvin Beederman Superhero

  Copyright

  Henry Holt and Company, LLC

  Publishers since 1866

  175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010

  www.HenryHoltKids.com

  Henry Holt® is a registered trademark of Henry Holt and Company, LLC.

  Text copyright © 2009 by Greg Trine

  Illustrations copyright © 2009 by Rhode Montijo

  All rights reserved.

  Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at [email protected].

  First Edition-2009 / Hand-lettering by David Gatti

  eISBN 9781250104762

  First eBook edition: October 2015

  * The narrator usually doesn’t use the word ain’t, but he decided to break the rules in this case, because sometimes there just ain’t a better way to say something. Oops, he did it again!